Merry Christmas

The Beginning Review

What can I say about his episode, it was everything I wanted from a new Red Dwarf episode. I really hope if there is a Series XI we get more episode as good as this. I really don't have any negative points about this episode, so let me throw some things i liked at you:

• The opening scene at Io Polytechnic, the actor playing young Rimmer nailed this performance and it was the best opening scene of the series. I really wouldn't mind a few internet sketches using this guy about Rimmer's early years.
• Hogie the Rougie was a great character, I love the idea of a rouge droid turning up when he is bored and challenging them to duels across time and space purely for entertainment.
• 'How about we look out of window?' A classic style Dwarf gag.
• The Simulant committing harakiri scene is great, good guest performances. The scene was funny and the Dominator still came across as menacing. 
• Rimmer's battle plan timetable was amazing, have a look.

• How the Series VIII cliffhanger was dealt was great, who cares how it happened, the crew got out of it and that is all that matters and it was funny. Look if you are bothered you have the mythical series IX so just make it up if you are bothered, use your imagination.
• The reveal of Rimmer's dad was interesting I don't think I will affect his character to much. I look forward to seeing where it leads.

The only real issue I have is with some of the effects, especially the wibbly gun and the crew falling through the floor. 

Oh and Rimmer saying to Hogie that shouldn't steal from a Simulant death ship, because they come after you and then asking Kryten should be worried about a Simulant death ship, was just weird.

Overall, this was a great episode. The best of series X.

9/10

Dear Dave Review

You know what I love about Red Dwarf is great plots with character development, all while laughing my tits off. So this episode delivered everything I want from a Red Dwarf episode…  oh wait no it didn’t, but it did deliver lots of laughs and that is why I watch comedy, isn’t it?

 

It was very sketch show-esqe episode of Red Dwarf, which is one of my criticisms of Series VIII, but this worked just because the jokes were, well, funnier. So the ‘plots’ well we had Lister finding out he was a father, Lister in a love triangle in with vending machines, Rimmer trying to prove that he been a good reason not to work for the last 3,000,000 years to the JMC computer, Kryten moving toilet rolls and Cat needing a shit.

 

Positives

• Despite the opening scene going on too long, Lister and Kryten talking about the human race like an ex was pretty funny and got over the loneliness of Lister predicament.
• The vending machines were good too, with hardly anyone to talk too; you would talk to anything with an artificial intelligence.
• Rimmer’s subbuteo stretching was a great bit, as well as his Jacobean chat up lines later on.
• The Cat again was brilliant, the charades scene was over long, but that made it even funnier. The back references to the old episodes were a lovely touch. Oh, Cat’s pink suit was amazing.

 

I want this suit

• Fuck it, Cat in the ‘don’t think about it’ scene was again brilliant and the joke about the finger wetting machine working overtime was an absolute woofer. Despite only having a few scenes he stole the show with two of them.

Negatives

• The JMC onboard computer, it feels like the JMC is a company that is still an operating company. The scene explaining that Rimmer needs to prove he has been guilty of gross dereliction of duty, it just seems like the JMC onboard computer has just been quickly written in to use as a cheap antagonist.
• The whole ‘budget’ plot line was weird, why does Red Dwarf have budgets anymore now the crew is gone.
• Slag! I am not offended by the word slag or the context it was used in.  It doesn’t seem to out of character for Lister, he is a working class slob after all and his has used game machines to have sex with jailbait ball girls (ok she wasn’t jailbait, she was 17). I would have liked more stuff about Lister dealing with the fact that he was going to be a father, it would have validated the use of Slag, with her cheating on him and the child not being his.

I don’t know it was just too much of a sketch show for Red Dwarf, but the jokes were funny and for that reason it gets a decent score.

 

6/10

Entangled Review

Smegging brilliant, I really enjoyed that episode of Red Dwarf, the feel of it was perfect. You could maybe criticise it for borrowing for previous episodes, mainly ‘Emohawk’ and ‘Quarantine’, but it wouldn’t be the first time Red Dwarf has done this and they were different enough that I didn’t give a shit.
 

I wonder if Kochanski was meant to be in this episode, as we now know the last two episodes were meant to have her in them, but had to be rewritten due to the cost of the location shoots. Doug Naylor has now said that she isn’t going to feature in them, but is that just a red herring. It’s is just that the scene on E.R.R.A space station and with the coincidence thing, it felt the monkey reveal should have been her. I know Kochanski isn’t the most popular character on the show, but I am all for it as long as her character is well written and it isn’t just period jokes like in series VIII.

 

 

A few good points:

• The opening gag, the best one yet. The whole scene was great from Lister’s ‘There is something on little monitor two, weird small, really massive, what is it?’ to Rimmer lecturing about the new health and safety rules. Maybe you could say it was a bit Brittas, but Gordon Brittas has always had a slight bit of alternate reality Rimmer about him.

 

'Eeeexcellent!'

• Cat, again was great, Danny John-Jules really has his mojo back, the scene where it is revealed that Lister lost Rimmer in a poker match, he just stole that scene completely.

'Does not help, does not clean, will have sex with anything.'

• Kryten drying the spoons
• The scene with the BEGGS was brilliant, Kryten translating was great, especially ‘So you return with my winnings hahaha.’
• Kryten’s long dialogue about the E.R.R.A. station and how it specialised in wrongness, with it ending in ‘Did it work?’ ‘No it didn’t.'
• Professor E always being wrong and therefore fancying Rimmer, simply gag but great.
• Great final gag, ‘Have you got a pen?’ Wonderfully delivered by Craig Charles.
• Soft light Rimmer, really really nice to see.

I am going to stop now, I don’t just want to go through the entire episode in a typically disjointed fashion

  

A few bad point (There wasn’t anything major that annoyed me, so just a couple of nit picking bits):

• Kryten has weird yellowing of round the eyes of and lips, I didn’t know droids could get jaundice.I didn’t like the fact that Irene wore her glasses upside down, was a bit much.
• The E.R.R.A. stuff and about everything being wrong was a great concept, I think this could have been used for an entire episode. 
• How did Lister talked to the BEGGs in the first place, they didn't reveal they spoke English until the entire crew went down to the moon.

Really that is it, this episode up there with the best of VII and beats anything from VIII, well the only one really worth comparing it too is ‘Cassandra’. I have never really made a list of my favourite episodes of Red Dwarf. I am going to have to do that when this season finishes.

 

8.5/10

 

Halloween!!

Ok so it is Halloween and to celebrate it I thought I would share with a great website called Archive.org. This site isn't specifically a horror site it just brings together the best of anything and everything that is in the public, so it has a some great old horror movies including one of my all time favourites 'Night of the Living Dead' available to download for free. We all like free shit, don't we?

 

Go there and watch one of the greatest zombie movies ever made.

 

Night of the Living Dead

 

Or just stream it on Youtube... but make sure you watch it.

Lemons Review

Well, that was bat shit crazy episode of Red Dwarf, it felt very much like ‘Tikka…’ in some ways. It was a weird episode for me I enjoyed it, but it wasn't the funniest of the series so far, it was kind of just an enjoyable adventure romp. Like every episode of Red Dwarf X the slow start has been a problem for me, so far it has been Cat walking in on Lister and basically saying ‘What’s going on Budski/Buddy/Bud?’

Positive

• The great scene with Kryten saying he operates on Lister and the call back to Cat having eating Listers organs. Although what organs?!?!? Lister has already had his appendix out (in ‘Legion’ and when was 17/18 in ‘Thanks For The Memory’), plus the spleen is mentioned there are that many remaining organs that can be safely removed. A kidney?? He couldn't walk 4000 miles having a lung removed. Has he maybe had a rib removed for some Prince style perversions, he must be lonely without Kochanski.
• Kryten, this were the best episode for Kryten so far, ‘He hath risen’ and ‘Mr Christ, Sir?’ Brilliant.
• One plot line, Red Dwarf is best when it is like this.
• The opening sequence will Red Dwarf in space, the desert planet and the giant star was a great touch.
• Using the cleaning montage from ‘Kryten’ during the building montage was a nice touch. The Indian inspired Red Dwarf theme was great.

Negative

• Quite a few of the gags fell flat for the me, ‘the gap year’ and ‘ebay’ ones inparticular.
• The cut for the ad break felt wrong, it was going to be interesting watching them on DVD to see how they fair without them as they always pull me out of the episode.
• Chris Barrie’s overacting during the Shakespeare scene.
• I thought it was a bit of a cop out it not being the real Jesus, the operation scene and when Lister calls him a knob loses a lot of impact after the first viewing.

Nice touch with Jesus on the far left.

I am really unsure about this episode, there really isn't much I dislike about this it, but there nothing I absolutely love about it either. I thing that is why I don’t really have much to say...

6/10

One thing I will say this season I am not totally enamoured with it, but it is good and enjoyable. Just needs to trim the fat and tighten it up.

ALSO WHY THE FUCK IS THE TEMPLATE ALL MESSED UP ON THIS ONE....   ARGH!!

Fathers and Suns Review

Hhhhhhmmmm that was an strange episode of Red Dwarf, brilliant in parts and cringe worthy in others. The Pree storyline was great and generated some good gags and the Lister/Dad stuff was absolutely classic Dwarf, but there were a few negatives…

• The Medi-bot/Denti-bot … urgh … I really didn't like the wackiness of these characters, it was like the Data Doctor from Series VIII. That said I can put up with them because the scenes are fairly short.
• The Chinese whispers plot was weak and the pay off was weak, yes the final whisper reminded Lister on how to defeat Pree, but he could have just worked it out.
• Taiwan Tony, really?? I didn't find it offensive (but I can see why some people would) and I can see we were meant to be laughing at them being ignorant, but it was just wasn't very funny and it seemed to come across too much of a let’s laugh a comedy Asian accent feel. Red Dwarf has never looked at the issue of race before and I just felt it was it very jarring to bring it into the Red Dwarf universe at such a late stage in such a clumsy fashion. South Park does this sort of thing far better.
• ‘Taiwan's a bit Chinesey’ I really didn't like the fact that Lister said this line, it feels like it should be a Rimmer line. Lister, to me, has always been the moral heart of Red Dwarf, yes he is flawed, but this is a man that wouldn't shoot an unarmed simulant that wanted to kill him. Lister is open to other cultures, he is interested in the history of the Cat people, whereas Rimmer dismisses it. This line sits about as well as the ‘Bent Bob’ one in ‘Duct Soup’.

But that is it for negatives, there are so many stronger points.

• Craig Charles.
• Craig Charles.
• Craig Charles.
• Craig Charles.
• Craig Charles.
• Ok, so Craig Charles was fantastic in this episode. The two double Lister scenes gave a him a real opportunity to show both his comedic and dramatic acting chops. It had some great character moments, showing what Lister really thinks of himself and that he could have made more of himself if he really tried.
• Rimmer and Kryten booting up Pree was great (including a great little mention of Holly), finishing off with a great little gag about Kryten being excited about the frame size and Rimmer looking miffed, because it was too small to see her large boobs!

Bad frame sizing...

• In fact every scene with Pree was great, Rebecca Blackstone put in the best guest performance of this series so far. It is going to be tough for someone to beat it.
• There was a couple great visual gags, Lister’s message being on VHS and my favourite Cat reading ‘Morris Dancer Monthly’ in the Dent-i-bot waiting room, with the magazine matching his outfit. Brilliant.
• Rimmer had some amazing lines, such as 'Never mind us, what about me!', 'You're saying because I would have cocked all this up, you've already cocked it all up up for me.' and 'You mad goth bastard!’ 
• The scene after Lister gets ejected is brilliant.
  Cat - 'What the hell is that? An airlock's opened and the ships just ejected something.Kryten - 'Ooh, it's looks like a little man in a spacesuit.'Rimmer - 'That's not a man, that's Lister.'Fantastic.
• The cardboard guitar joke is absolutely brilliant, probably my favourite joke of the series.
• ...I really could go on.

This episode could have been a classic, it is just a shame that the Taiwan Tony parts really pulls me out of the episode. It really didn't need three plots going on. Stick to the main two and have a few minutes extra with the Rimmer/Pree dynamic or Lister dealing with this father issues. It is still a strong episode and the series has had some very good moments so far.

7.5/10

Trojan Review

Well it was odd to watch Red Dwarf back on the TV, in HD as well. I never thought I would see another see series of it, even after ‘Back To Earth’…

So here are a few points, bad first:

·         The opening credits, I didn’t like them. I don’t know why, maybe it was the names, but it isn’t the essential to the enjoyment of the program. I fucking hate the opening titles to Dexter and I love that show.

·         The first  couple of scenes were disappointing, but they were needed to set up the moose gag and just to reintroduce the characters.

·         I would have liked a little bit of set up on the current situation on board of Red Dwarf, that said next week’s episode looks to be entirely ship based and involves the installing of a new computer, so hopefully it can happen then.

·         A few of the jokes were a little long winded. The book gag was funny, but drawn out and the Astronavs moose gag was great, but didn’t need the anything more after Cat got the answer.

·         Kryten’s mask was weird, still not used to it and the shouting down the phone was too OTT, I would have preferred a more ‘stern teacher’ Kryten ala ‘White Hole’ with Talkie Toaster.

·         Red Dwarf seemed small and cramped (Was that the new drive room at the start?) and Trojan seemed quite a large expansive ship, despite being the a fraction of the size of Red Dwarf. Maybe this was partly due to Cat getting lost.

·         The phone gag went on for a bit and the payoff wasn’t worth it.

I will stop being negative and talk about a few of the positives.

·         Starting off with a gorgeous fly-by of Red Dwarf is a bloody good way to kick things off.

·         Some great one liners ‘But you’re a twat’, ‘Slower than the speed of dark’ and ‘We just hosed him down and put a hat on him’. We have not has a great one liner since ‘Tikka…’ – ‘One minute you’re down, the next you’re right back up again’.

·         The sets were absolutely fantastic, as were the costumes with the exception of Kryten (it wasn’t terrible) and did you see Lister’s jacket, lovely stuff.

·         The music was great and using a reprise of the Rimmer Munchkin song during Howards death was brilliant. Howard Goodall you are a genius.

This man is a fucking genius

·         Cat is back, after being underused and just mostly disappointing in VII, VIII and BTE. He was excellent, had some great and Danny has got his mojo back.

·         Some good visual gags, the turning to the right and the leaning was brilliant and Kryten losing his memory and seeming lost.

So, overall I enjoyed it, it was a good episode with some good moments, but not a classic. The pace was faster than series of old, but it looked great and had some great gags. An old episode of Red Dwarf to me are like a big duvet to me, you can just watch one if you are feeling shit and just feel better. I am not expecting that sort of feeling instantly from Red Dwarf X, hopefully it will be like that one day.

It was a positive start for the new series and I am looking forward to the other 5 episodes.

6.5/10

The Boys Are Back...

So, the boys from the dwarf are back on our screens once again for the first proper series since series XIII way back way in 1998. I don’t think I have been as excited and nervous about a TV series well since... the Red Dwarf Back To Earth special.

I have some very fond memories of Red Dwarf and it is one of two programs from my youth that I can still watch endless repeats of, the other being Lovejoy.

Lovejoy is fucking awesome.

I got into it around the time of season 3, I believe the very first episode I saw was 'Timeslides', but it is the friday night re-runs at 9pm on BBC is what I remember most. Closely followed by the season VII premiere at a mates house getting drunk before we went out for a banging night in…   Penrith.

Changing channels just to catch the end credits of Gardeners World (God, I avoided that program like the plague!) and being amused that the Producer was called ‘Gay Search’. Don’t judge me, I was 13ish and that kind of shit is amusing to ANY 13 year old. I love the shear pantheon of styles of comedy the first six series cover, from the fantastic character based stuff to the star trekish space adventures.

It is really hard for me to pick a favourite episode or really even series, but it is a toss up between IV and V. Both of which look fantastic, have some quite interesting sci-fi concepts (Justice World being one of the best) and have some absolute classic moments. Including quite possibly my favourite ever...

Great scene from 'Holoship', great Cat gag to kick things off and Lister imitating Binks is just fantastic.

I don't want to rant on about series VII and VIII, as they are much debated over on the official forum and well… the internet/workplace/dull football matches/every single tennis match. For me, series VII is watchable and it would have been a better series as six episodes, ‘Beyond a Joke’ can be got rid of instantly, terrible and probably ‘Duct Soup’, even though I really enjoy Lister/Cat bits in it. 'Tikka…' is a decent episode (even tho it has a huge flaw in the conclusion of JFK killing himself), 'Stoke...' is stupid, but amusing, 'Blue' is good and well the other episodes are hit and miss for me. It was Kryten's stupid annoying whiny voice that just ruins it for me it is so annoying, that and the lack of Rimmer. Red Dwarf needs Rimmer, because he is a bastard and the world loves a bastard.

As for VIII, there are a few decent ideas, 'Cassandra' works pretty well as an episode, The Canaries should have been used way more. It is just, the dynamic was changed too much by bringing back the crew, the bleak loneliness of been stuck in space is a core part of Red Dwarf, Lister is the last human! And a prison, A PRISON, A FUCKING PRISON, ON A MINING SHIP, EH!? WHY!? AND DINOSAURS! 

It was great seeing Mac Mcdonald back as the Captain tho and 'Pete:Part 1' could have maybe worked if it was just an episode about Rimmer and Lister repeatedly getting into trouble with the Captain. There are good things, here and there (the time wand should/could have been used better), but it was too sketch show like, with the stuff about Kryten's penis and shit like this...

Fuck off

I am going to stop now and get onto 'Back to Earth'....  oh no here comes a rant...

Actually, no I like it. Not at first I admit, I was expecting something like the original series and when I watched it (drunk) I couldn't stand the bastard. Didn't even bother to watch the third part. Ages later, I listened the Dwarfcasts from the guys at Ganymede & Titan and I realised that it was written as a celebration of Red Dwarf, so I bought the dvd and watched it again. Yes, it is flawed, but it is a good piece of meta-drama about the characters from a program I love. Craig Charles acting is fantastic and it set up Red Dwarf perfectly for Series X. 

My God I am so excited about Series X, and from the trailers so far it looks good (Cat's 'Me, him and him' joke looks like a classic). I believe that it will be better than VII and VIII. The sets look amazing and model shots, my god, it looks (and as been mistaken for CGI). It could be the best looking series yet. I am worried, yes, but the signs are good, studio audiences, models, Howard Goodall doing the music and most importantly the four of them having adventures in space. The stories sound like a good cross between adventures and character based stuff.

Anyway, despite Lister being a lot more than the curry and lager obsessed slob that general media will have us believe. I will sitting down of my sofa, watching a few of my favourite episode with a curry and a few tins, then by 9:40pm I will hopefully be a very happy man, having watched an awesome new episode of Red Dwarf and probably watch it again!

I will leave you with my favourite of the trailers released so far.

Classic Kryten, doing something funny and thinking it is normal, this gag doesn't need anymore. 

  

Hello.

Hello and welcome to my blog. Who am I? Is a question you are probably not asking yourself. Well I my name is Mike, I am 31 years old and live in (rarely) sunny Leeds, UK.

So I was reading a few websites about creating a good blog site and apparently it is a good idea to have a specific theme or subject, but…  f**k that, my brain isn’t wired that way. I have the attention span of a 5 year old on cocaine, so you can expect to read about a variety of subjects, mainly loud music played by dickhead rockstars, stupid looking (trials) bikes, geeky TV, undead hordes, megadrive games and whatever comes to my mind. I may even do some ill-informed lefty political rambles once is a while.

The first subject of my blog will be about a much loved sci-fi sitcom about to make it’s comeback… check that out soon.

Bye!

Here is a picture of me as a zombie...